Create an account on ThePinkPill and join your favorite communities. Speak freely with other women about what's really on your mind. No email address required.
I think if I allow myself fully feel the horror of my situation Iâd break. So I try to focus on small things and not self-reflect much. I have a lot of calming rituals like re-watching old movies, rereading favorite books, which is regression at this point. Iâm basically paralyzed to a point where I canât do anything new, it will disturb carefully built balance. Going out always means mentally preparing myself, desensitizing to a point where Iâm no longer affected by casual bullying and negative affirmation. For example, Iâve always been treated roughly like an animal, and my response to that was becoming loud and ruthless despite my introverted nature. If I work on my aesthetics sense or empathy that would mean more suffering, and I barely holding myself together as it is.
I admire girls, whether stacy or femcel, who didnât let the filth of the world affect them but I canât build same kind of safe heaven in my head. Iâm hurt everyday by everyone. Whatâs really sad is smart people being lookist or virtue-signalers who preach inclusivity for everyone except uggos. Alcoholics get their 12 steps to salvation, junkies â their Netflix shows, but there is no possible good outcome for an ugly woman, no one is even wanna think about it, crime against nature, are we?
The feeling of being trapped is suffocating. Constant distraction and isolation are the only things that help. I can only feel like myself in very small dosages shielded heavily from outside world, if I as much as show the right for opinion people would never let it go. Honestly society feels like terminators whose sole purpose is finding and destroying any abnormalities. I can only play with dolls of my dreams and say anything I want in solitude. (and here ofc)
Become a member of +TruFemcels, no email address required. Take ThePinkPill.
Exactly..and it really is regression in this context unfortunately, with others who do it on occasion within a varied and vast experience of life, itâs seen as sweet, sentimental even, but with us it ends up being rather malignant, though the alternative being more so is the whole reason we resort to such a thing in the first place.
Lol I wish I could have become loud and ruthless too, the day I kill myself Iâm sure I will be filled with regret about not having stood up for myself more, despite my fear of further trauma. Maybe I finally will bite back in my final days, might be the only small thing I have left to hope for. Iâve ended up in some very dangerous situations due to my social conditioning as an unattractive woman, I will allow the most overtly shady people to approach me and request things of me (like money) just so that they donât insult me superficially as I turn away from them (and some of it is subconscious, Iâve been taught that people who look like me arenât allowed to say âNoâ). I would rather be knifed than be bullied, Iâve had enough. I would probably be easy fodder for a serial killer, not even out of stupidity, I know better, itâs just a matter of being focused on the one thing that hurts me, and has hurt me the most, and avoiding it at all costs, even if the price paid for that is a trauma of another kind, or death itself. That whole âsticks and stonesâ saying is utter garbage, at least in that scenario my wounds would heal and I could also throw some shit right back at the perpetrator.
Whatâs really sad is smart people being lookist or virtue-signalers who preach inclusivity for everyone except uggos.
Yes, it's ridiculous how diversity in every aspect of life is celebrated EXCEPT unattractiveness. People want to pretend they're open-minded and progressive but the instant they are confronted with ugliness they act exactly the same as everyone else. The body positivity movement comes close, but that's mainly about being overweight or disabled, not being facially repellent.
Alcoholics get their 12 steps to salvation, junkies â their Netflix shows, but there is no possible good outcome for an ugly woman, no one is even wanna think about it, crime against nature, are we?
The only possible road to salvation is a "glow up" or a "makeover" but of course no one's footing the bill except ourselves.
I could have written nearly every word of this myself (besides the admiration for any âStacyâ lol, their very privilege is what often protects them or helps to mitigate the filth of the world, nothing to admire, they have the easiest time at it, even if the sordid reality may still reach some of them in other ways). Although I probably have allowed for more reflection and instances of facing the cold, hard truth in its entirety than most do (the human brain is relentless when trying to protect itself from facts that harm us, thatâs why certain forms of gaslighting are so easy to implement in dismissing a personâs gripes), and these instances absolutely did break me, threw me into spirals and instilled a panic that moved me toward the closest sharp object. Bits and pieces are bad enough, but taking the whole thing in at once-every past thing, every horrid memory, every sign both overt and covert, every present misfortune as well as the future odds-will knock the wind right out of you (at least in my experience), and reduce you to a puddle of snot and tears and even spasms or desperate tics. Every time I break down like that, itâs a little death, a glass figurine shattering and being glued reluctantly back togetherâ¦slowly, haphazardly, in a daze, over and over, until isolating and daydreaming under some sort of anesthetizing agent, of my own will or by a tangible substance, is the only way I can maintain some semblance of sanity and pacificity. And even then, that âmaintenanceâ doesnât keep, the fractured glass animal that I am comes crumbling apart and the shards become smaller and smaller, making more of a mess and leaving parts of me behind every time I try to ârebuildâ.
Iâm hurt every day by everyone and everything too, even distractions have âtriggersâ and reminders at every corner, society has no qualms about alienating us, even in the comfort of our own homes.
I know exactly what you mean by only feeling like yourself in small dosages, shielded from the outside world. Itâs so much easier to be âmeâ without people holding up a grotesque mirror in their eyes to disparage and misinterpret me. And youâre right about the âsmart peopleâ, those who have assessed exactly what is going on and know how harmful their own participation in it is, who still choose to go forward with the lookist bs, I cannot stand them, sometimes theyâll spit facts just to shrug their shoulders at them! Like a physicist explaining how gravity works only to be content -possibly as a bystander- as they watch a box of kittens be thrown off a bridge to prove their point. ..and those who signal virtue in other areas (many of which arenât even as relevant or damning as our type of trauma) but willfully neglect THIS, are some of the worst excuses for human beings imaginable, pure scum gilded in glittering hypocrisy.
I donât even have much else to respond because thereâs not much more to say, youâve covered the essence of living this nightmare, and the only coping mechanisms that allow us survival, which are still not enough to actually live , it comes down to wasting away in the end, no matter how we go about it, time is always passing us by. Unless a miracle transformation of appearance occurs at the right moment, or you have an insane ability to move through life and roll with the punches like a psychopath, I donât see our flavor of situation leading to honest fulfillment or a life worth living, even people who get through certain periods of time by fooling themselves (mental gymnastics) donât last very long, the sad reality will always win in the end, it will always make itself known. I accept that the reality is what it is-as in I donât deny it to make myself feel any better, but I wonât accept living with it, I wonât accept enduring this pitiful continuance of suffering and desolation. God..I would trade this hell for so many others that people claim as unlivable, my resiliencies in other areas of life are rendered useless while Iâm confined in this particular chokey of flesh.
I experience the same level of numb and dull but also because im sick, dissociating from reality and distracting its the only healthy way out,now that men are teaching other men that paying attention to us is "simping" i think it has gotten worse. I have tried to reach out to men in instagram to start a convo and it always leads nowhere, i dont do tinder or casual anything because that opens you up to being used and i already did that. i remember being in a hotel with a man and feeling absolutely nothing inside as he went inside of me and had sex for nearly 5 hours. I felt absolutely nothing the next two times we met up either so i decided to call it quits and never do any casual hookup anymore because the damage has been done, i felt nothing and men made me feel like i was nothing for 30 years of my life, guess what honey, im not going to suddenly feel excited about dick or sex or attention as a rare event out of nowhere.
Your comment will be removed everywhere on ThePinkPill. This action cannot be undone.
Welcome to +TruFemcels ! This sub is a female-only community.
TruFemcels is a safe space that caters to femcels and women who relate to them for the purpose of discussion, venting, support, and community.
A femcel or a female celibate is an adult woman who is below average in physical appearance (<4/10) or suffers a significant impediment that prevents her from securing a romantic relationship- NOT sex.
Sex is available to most (not all) women so long as it is done IN SERVICE of men. This DOES NOT resolve loneliness and is often the pretext for abusive power dynamics.
In a culture where lookism means many men feel comfortable mistreating women they use sexually but are not attracted to, many femcels rely on celibacy to protect them from the worst of casual sex culture.
The world is unkind to the unattractive women. Here, you can be brutally honest about it, seek a way OUT of femceldom, or find comfort if you're stuck. Take heart. Make yourself at home. â¤ï¸
Share your favorite videos, images, tweets, and media by inserting your link during post creation. It will automatically embed your content.
Welcome to our new site. There's so much to talk about! If you need a hand, check out this quick start guide. If you're excited about ThePinkPill, you can support the site by spreading the word to other women interested in unfiltered, female-based discussions. You can also donate ! Your contribution goes towards the hosting and development of this platform. Here is to women's spaces both online and off.
You can now delete your ThePinkPill account. Visit your security settings if you wish to do this. (We hope you don't though).