If you think the proposal was nerve-racking, wait until you hear about this whole wedding thing you have to plan. Is it going to be exciting and butterfly-inducing? Absolutely. Will it also make you want to scream and tear your hair out? Plausibly. Good news, though; it doesnât have to!Â
We wonât lie to you; there will be some stress involved . Sorry, itâs just unavoidable unless youâre eloping . However, with the right amount of planning and time management, you will pull off planning a wedding with all (or at least most) of the hair you started with. Â
Look, everyoneâs wedding timeline is different. On average, expect 10 to 18 monthsâ worth of planning . If you break that down, youâre looking at 200 to 300 hours of actual wedding planning (without a wedding planner). So, you can roughly expect eight to twelve full daysâ worth of planning to be required over that 10- to 18-month total prep period.
If that sounds insanely stressful, you can get ahead of that stress with a good plan. If that doesnât sound at least a tiny bit stressful, youâre either not taking it seriously or youâre a Buddhist monk (and they canât get married, so, ya know). A little bit of stress can be helpful, but a well-constructed plan can keep that positive stress from becoming soul-crushing negative stress.
No soul-crushing stress on our watch. Weâve got all the basics you can expect to cover right here, and some helpful tips for keeping it all manageable.
No, seriously. A wedding planner can make your life so much easier. We donât get kickbacks from Big Wedding Planning, so we promise this is just an objective recommendation. A wedding planner may not be cheap, but they can help you save time (and potentially money) in the long run. If you have it in the budget, go for a wedding planner.
If you donât have wedding planner money, all is not lost. With vigilance and a plan, you can pull off the wedding of your dreams with just the two of you and some elbow grease. Maybe clean off the grease before the wedding, though. Ha. Weâll be going now.
Wedding planner or not, start by establishing the basics:Â
You donât have to have it all dialed in, but having a general answer to all of those questions will provide you with a great base to build your overall wedding plan.
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Youâve gotta pay to play when it comes to this whole wedding thing. Can you pull off an incredible wedding on a shoestring? Absolutely; dollar and a dream all day. If youâve got the budget for a lavish wedding, youâll be in a better place to put together your dream wedding down to the napkin folds.Â
You wonât want to forget the wedding rings in your budget. Whether youâve got your own unique styles or youâre looking for complementary his and hers wedding ring sets , itâs a part of your overall wedding budget to be aware of.
Thereâs no right or wrong budget for a wedding. The only âwrongâ budget is the financially irresponsible one. If youâve got tens of thousands set aside, then, by all means, go wild. If you donât have that kind of money, itâs better to have a tasteful and simple wedding than spend your first married decade digging yourselves out of debt.Â
You donât have to listen to us, of course; we arenât financial planners. Just giving you our two cents (pun thoroughly intended).
Like we mentioned earlier, the average couple (without a wedding planner) spends 200 to 300 total hours planning their wedding. That is, of course, just an average, but itâs not a bad estimate to prepare for. Still, thereâs a wild difference between those two numbers. One hundred hours is like eight Game of Thrones episodes (we thought it was funny), so use it wisely.
No, but seriously. It may seem obvious, but weâll spell it out. The more intricate and ornate you want your wedding, the more toward that 300-hour mark (or beyond) you begin to creep. If youâre okay with that going in, no worries. If you donât love the idea of quitting your job to plan your wedding, thereâs nothing wrong with going a bit simpler with your ceremony.Â
Seems pretty obvious, but itâs still an all-important question. If your answer is âI wish it were yesterday,â youâll likely have to be flexible with all other aspects of the wedding. If youâre okay with that, hey! Life will be breezy. On the other hand, if you've always dreamt of a June wedding, we hate to break it to you, but so has everyone else . You might have to be flexible on your venue or wait until next year. If youâre okay with that, life can still be breezy.
Another in the painfully obvious category, but itâs essential to go over ASAP. Venues fill up, and you need to book well in advance. If your bride wants to get married in her home church, but itâs got cute coming out the wazoo, it might be a tough spot to get a reservation at. On the other hand, if youâre a bit more flexible about the wedding venue, you can push the date up earlier. Every venue has cute coming out the wazoo in its own way anyway, right? Right?
This might be the most fun question of all. Hereâs where you get to dream big! Whether youâve been envisioning your wedding day since seven years old or yesterday, hereâs your chance to brainstorm.Â
Remember, youâre not married to any of these ideas (another pun thoroughly intended), so just throw them out there. Do you have your dream dress? Your ultimate set of groomsmen from college? What is the theme? Do you have table settings in mind? Have you found the one in your search for menâs wedding bands ? This is a perfect time to brainstorm your outfit, from the most basic parts to the intricacies of your wedding jewelry .
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Invitations can be a touchy subject, so, if youâve got non-negotiables, itâs best to get them out of the way upfront. If youâve got a friend nicknamed Beefer, weâre gonna go out on a limb and say heâs going to end up a non-negotiable. Sorry, Beef.Â
If youâve got a small venue, guest lists will have to be trimmed down. Thatâs not just us saying that; thatâs the fire marshal. Sorry about it. If youâve got a giant venue and the cool heads to handle a massive wedding, then go all-out. More presents, right? Expect more than one toaster at a large wedding, but itâs probably got some resale value.
Guest lists can be a subject of conflict for couples, but theyâre unavoidable. If nothing else, itâs a great way to practice conflict resolution. Silver lining, right? Donât forget about seating charts! Remember those logic puzzles you did in school where you had to figure out who was the oldest, but you only got like three pieces of information? Itâs a lot like that. Good luck!
Cake, flowers, music, etc. All the basics need to be accounted for. If youâre going budget-friendly and homemade, maybe you know some people who can make these things happen. Maybe âsome peopleâ is you and your fiancé. If you arenât doing it all yourself, make sure you set aside time to test out the vendors and see the ones you like best.Â
For what itâs worth, the average couple hires 14 vendors . Fourteen! Thatâs a whole symphony (or potentially cacophony) of vendors. Thereâs a lot of coordination required, but it is doable. Take a deep breath and just work through them one at a time. Of course, thereâs no rule that says you need 14, so donât panic.Â
Youâve got all the basic questions and answers (or youâre at least getting there). Great! Doesnât that feel just a little bit better? Now, the big question: How the heck do you keep everyone on task and on time? You could scurry around for a year and be in a perpetual state of panic. Thatâs definitely one option. However, might we recommend another, more sane option?
While some wedding stress is a given, there are some tried and true methods that will keep you maximally stress-free while pulling off the ceremony of your lives!
Start out by creating a rough month-by-month timeline. You donât need to go day by day or even week by week just yet. Just get everything down on paper or a wedding planning app. Once you can see everything you need to accomplish, you can tweak it as necessary.Â
A few helpful reminders when doing this:Â
If youâre working with a really limited budget, you may not have this luxury. If itâs a luxury you have, take it! Yes, we understand you want everything to be perfect. You want to handle everything yourself to make sure itâs done correctly. The best CEOs donât run the entire company themselves, though. Delegate to people you trust and remember why you trust them. It will boost your sanity by at least 17%, guaranteed.Â
Make sure youâre staying on task and on budget. You will be exorbitantly stressed if you check your budget for the first time and realize you have $9 left to spend and you still need flowers and wedding favors. There are plenty of good budgeting apps and websites out there. They are your new best friends.
Also, know that just because something traditionally costs a lot of money, it doesnât mean you have to dish out the same amount or more. Opt for more cost-effective wedding options such as affordable engagement rings , DIY place settings and much more.
Lots of people have done the heavy lifting for you. There are even sample wedding timelines to keep you on track. You donât have to reinvent the wheel. Itâs already been invented, and it comes in cheese form now. The wheel is perfect. Use your resources.
It doesnât matter if you have a photographic memory, write it all down. Write down everything that needs to be done so you can put that sweet, sweet checkmark next to it once youâve accomplished it. The type Aâs out there just squealed in delight.
Yes, itâs cliché. The most important part of a relationship is communication or whatever. Itâs true, though; thatâs why the cliché sticks around. Communicate with your fiancé, your vendors, friends, family, whomever. Clear expectations are necessary and will be so helpful to you in the long run.
Yes, itâs stressful, but itâs also so exciting! Enjoy the moment, be with your fiancé and thank the people helping you along the way. Take a break every once in a while, and go on a date (preferably with your fiancé). Seriously, do it. Youâll thank us later.
Wedding planning is a lot of stress for what may feel like forever. In the moment, it may be tough, but blink and youâll miss it. Youâll want something to look back on as the years go by, so let your planning be a touchstone and sign of good things to come.Â
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