In this piece, I’m going to teach you how to master the art of crafting online dating messages that are one-of-a-kind and actually get a response, so you can at least get your foot in the door before you screw the next part up… Just kidding.
Now, you might think that sending a message is easy-peasy lemon-squeezy – just like talking to someone at a bar. You walk up, flash ’em a smile and say something like “can I buy you a drink?” or “nice shoes – you come here often?”
But hold up. That’s obviously doesn’t work online.
Your first message is key. It has to be short but also stand out from the other twenty online dating messages she gets on the daily.
Sure, in person it’s no big deal to find common ground with someone based on the location your in, their appearance, what they’re doing, etc… but trying that approach online? Might as well be throwing your message into oblivion.
To make things simple, I have a few simple rules I always follow when messaging a girl:
Here’s a little secret that’ll give you an edge over the competition: avoid “the flood.” Most guys flood her inbox come Sunday and Monday in hopes of scoring a date for the weekend ahead.
But guess what? That’s when every other schlub is messaging too!
To stand out from the crowd, send your online dating message before “the flood” (Saturday afternoon) or after it (Tuesday night).
Writing the perfect dating message to a girl online should be easy , natural , and genuine . Don’t be fake. It’s too easy to spot. Here’s my 6 easy tips on how to write a message that will get responses:
Take a deep breath and read the whole damn profile. I mean every last word. Don’t just skim the pictures, you savage. You need to know this woman inside and out before you even think about crafting a message.
Find those hooks, those little details that she’s thrown in there. You know what I’m talking about – something that catches your eye, something that makes her unique. Use those hooks to your advantage.
A hook could be anything from a comment in her profile to a photo that you think is interesting. Examples of hooks are things like shared interests, an unusual experience she may have had, a funny joke she said in her profile, or even a funny picture that caught your eye.
Now it’s time to get personal. Think about how you can relate to those hooks on a deeper level. What experiences have you had that are similar? What opinions do you share? What stories do you have
And for god’s sake, don’t go for the obvious hooks like her username or her hair color unless you’ve got something truly mind-blowing up your sleeve.
Craft a statement or question that begs for a response while injecting some humor and lightheartedness into it. This is where things get tricky.
You need to show her that you’re interested but not desperate, funny but not clownish, charming but not sleazy.
If you’re feeling bold, throw in another statement or question related to the same hook or a different one. But be careful – sometimes less is more.
Put it all together and hit send without looking back.
Don’t explain why you messaged her, don’t be formal or wordy, just hit send and hope for the best.
Remember – this isn’t about winning her heart with one message (unless you’re some kind of wizard). It’s about getting a positive reply so you can start building some momentum.
Let’s imagine you found the girl of your dreams you’re itching to send an online dating message. This will help us illustrate how to put my plan into action.
You scan her profile and mentally note 10 hooks, though not all girls have this many, but, for this example, she’s got a nice variety of hooks that are common in most profiles.
I’ll show you how I used each hook to make it personal and unique to us.
Also, here’s a few quick tips on how to make this easier:
Now let’s move on to our example dream girl.
Sometimes the easiest way to learn is from examples you should never follow. So here’s a few examples of online dating messages that I GUARANTEE will never get a response. Unless she’s a hooker or a scammer.
When it comes to sparking up conversations with the ladies online, it’s all about keeping things light and playful. Sprinkle in some witty anecdotes and add some of your own unique hooks.
Trust me, it’s not rocket science. With a little bit of creativity and a whole lot of charm, you’ll have the ladies eating out of the palm of your hand in no time.