Browse audiobooks narrated by Jared Goldsmith, listen to samples and when you're ready head over to Audiobooks.com where you can get 3 FREE audiobooks on us
34 audiobooks in our catalogue, every one with its narrator named.
Timmy Failure: Zero to Hero
"The prequel to the New York Times best-selling series that's now a movie on Disney+! 'Timmy Failure is a winner!'-Jeff Kinney, author of Diary of a Wimpy Kid Timmy Failure is not just any detective-he is the greatest detective in his town, perhaps the nation. He is so famous that there have been seven books written about his life. Plus a movie. And so he has agreed to provide the world with his extraordinary origin story, as dictated to his biographer and best friend, Charles 'Rollo' Tookus. New York Times best-selling author Stephan Pastis is back with the hilariously heartwarming tale of how it all started for our favorite clueless detective-including how he got that red scarf!"
Stephan Pastis (Author), Jared Goldsmith , Landon G. Woodson (Narrator)
Audiobook · 2 hrs 22 mins
Timmy Failure: It's the End When I Say It's The End
"Everyone's favourite best worst detective is back in the seventh, and final, book in the bestselling series that's perfect for fans of Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates and Barry Loser. Though I, Timmy Failure, have solved many notorious crimes and now wish to enjoy my retirement, my fans have begged me to turn my memoirs into a movie, an ode to my greatness. It's nearly Christmas, but there's no rest for the world's greatest detective. Timmy's class are making a film, and Timmy is in charge of writing it. There's only one subject matter worthy of such a film—the story of how Timmy overcame his many foes to rise to the top. But the script's gone missing, Timmy and the director are having 'artistic differences', and Timmy's polar bear Total is longing to be reunited with his furry family. Timmy should have known it would end like this. He expected more."
Stephan Pastis (Author), Jared Goldsmith (Narrator)
Audiobook · 2 hrs 53 mins
Timmy Failure: The Cat Stole My Pants: The Cat Stole My Pants
"Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave… if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn’t take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave’s nephew, Emilio. And as if things couldn’t get more hectic, Timmy’s pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat."
Audiobook · 2 hrs 30 mins
Timmy Failure: The Cat Stole My Pants
"In the sixth book in Stephan Pastis’s hilarious series, Timmy is being threatened and must rely on his new partner to solve the mystery—and possibly save his life! Timmy is in Key West, Florida, ostensibly for the honeymoon of his mother and Doorman Dave—if they even got married, which Timmy doubts. Unfortunately for Timmy, crime doesn’t take a vacation. And because Total has fled to Cuba seeking political asylum, Timmy must rely on a new partner for help: Doorman Dave’s nephew Emilio. Meanwhile, a surprise newcomer shows up in Timmy’s life and, as if things couldn’t get more hectic, Timmy’s pants have been stolen by a six-toed cat. 'Pastis' sixth wry and dry comic caper … features a couple of real mysteries for the obstinately clueless Timmy Failure as well as a familial first: meeting his dad. … Fans will be satisfied and look expectantly for Book 7.'—Kirkus Reviews"
Audiobook · 2 hrs 27 mins
Timmy Failure: The Book You're Not Supposed to Have
"Timmy Failure returns once more in the hilarious fifth book in the New York Times bestselling series, perfect for fans of Wimpy Kid, Tom Gates and Barry Loser. The only thing you need to know about Timmy’s latest memoir is that it was never meant for publication. Timmy's detective log was stolen, and if this book gets out, Timmy will be grounded for life. Or maybe even longer. Because while Timmy was meant to be focusing on schoolwork, he was continuing his detective work in a garden shed. You don't need the details. Just know this: there's a Merry, a Larry, a missing tooth and a disappearing friend. But don't tell Timmy's mother!"
Audiobook · 2 hrs 12 mins
Mrs Yonkers is Bonkers
"Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?"
Dan Gutman (Author), Jared Goldsmith (Narrator)
Timmy Failure: Sanitized for Your Protection
"“At times laugh-out-loud funny, then disarmingly sweet, Timmy’s brand of failure continues to succeed with style.”—Booklist Behold! You are all about to be witnesses to greatness. In his fourth escapade, Timmy Failure is forced to hit the road on a cross-country trip that includes Timmy’s mom, Total the polar bear, Doorman Dave, and smells-like-a-tangerine criminal mastermind Molly Moskins. It’s a world gone mad, where good becomes bad, and Timmy Failure is a condemned man. Someone call the authorities. …"
Audiobook · 2 hrs 43 mins
Dr. Carbles Is Losing His Marbles!
"Forget Thanksgiving. The biggest turkey of all is running around Ella Mentry School--Dr. Carbles, the president of the school board. He is grumpier than ever and wants to fire Mr. Klutz. Will A.J. and his friends be able to save their principals job?"
"Something weird is going on! Miss Suki is a famous children's book author-and she's coming to A.J.'s school! She lives in the rainforest and writes about endangered animals. But when her pet raptor gets loose in the classroom, it's the kids who are going to be endangered! Yikes!"
Mr. Louie Is Screwy!
"Valentines Day is just around the corner, and Mr. Louie, the hippie crossing guard, wants everyone to fall in love. So he puts a secret love potion in the water fountain. Will A.J. have to kiss Andrea?"
Mrs. Yonkers Is Bonkers!
"Something weird is going on! Mrs. Yonkers, the computer teacher, is the nerdiest teacher in the history of the world. She can type with her feet! She buys foam cheeseheads off eBay! She even puts a Webcam on a turtle! Is she trying to take over the planet?"
Ms. Krup Cracks Me Up!
"A.J. thinks that nothing can possibly be as boring as a sleepover in the natural history museum. However, anything can happen when Ms. Krup is in charge. She says the dinosaur skeletons come to life in the middle of the night. Is she right?"
Timmy Failure: We Meet Again
"His name is Failure. Timmy Failure. And his detective agency is on the verge of global domination. Global riches. Global fame. And yet the gods keep throwing him curveballs: for starters, academic probation. The coveted Miracle Report is the key to everything, including a good grade. It's dirty business. It's best you know nothing. But one thing is for sure: Timmy Failure will be triumphant again!"
"It's Poetry Month and Ms. Coco, who runs the gifted and talented program, is poetry crazy! She cries when she sees a sunset! She thinks boys should have feelings! She talks in rhyme! All the time! Will A.J.'s life ever be normal again?"
"“Pastis’s lovely balance of quirky cartooning and quick-moving text makes this an enjoyable, laugh-out-loud read. … A perfect go-to for reluctant readers.”—School Library Journal His name is Failure, Timmy Failure. His detective agency is on the verge of global domination. Global riches. Global fame. In this, the third volume of his memoirs, Timmy Failure will reveal how he will triumph over the curveballs of the gods: for starters, academic probation. The coveted Miracle Report is the key to everything, including a good grade. It’s dirty business. It’s best you know nothing."
Audiobook · 2 hrs 28 mins
"Mr. Macky dresses up as Abraham Lincoln to get the students at Ella Mentry School excited about their Presidents' Day oral reports."
Mrs Kormel is Not Normal
"Something weird is going on! First the school bus gets a flat tire, and then Mrs. Kormel is totally lost in the middle of nowhere! Mrs. Kormel is the weirdest bus driver in the history of the world, and she's driving everyone crazy!"
Timmy Failure: Now Look What You've Done
"Timmy is about to crack the biggest case of his generation: a school competition to find a stolen globe. But someone is clearly trying to con the system. So it's up to Timmy Failure, with the dubious help of Total, his lazy polar-bear partner, and his unlikely new ally, eccentric Great-Aunt Colander, to find a way to defeat this injustice. If he can only get his entry form in on time."
"“Puns, plays-on-words, and clever comedic timing will result in laugh-out-loud moments.”—School Library Journal The clueless, comically self-confident detective Timmy Failure is about to crack the biggest case of his generation: a school competition to find a stolen globe. But someone is clearly trying to game the system. Hoodwink. Con. Defraud. Timmy, with the dubious help of his lazy polar bear sidekick, Total, must avenge the shenanigans, defeat the injustice—and get an entry form in on time."
Audiobook · 2 hrs 31 mins
Miss Holly is Too Jolly!
"Disaster reigns when A.J. participates in the school's holiday pageant celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, and Kwanzaa."
Mrs. Patty is Batty!
"A.J. and the other students at Ella Mentry School brave trick-or-treating at the school secretary's house, even though it is supposedly haunted."
Mrs. Kormel is Not Normal!
"With over one million copies of his books in print, New York Times bestselling author Dan Gutman is a hit with young readers thanks to his energetic stories tinged with uproarious humor. Mrs. Kormel Is Not Normal! introduces Ella Mentry Elementary School's zany bus driver. Mrs. Kormel has been driving everyone crazy lately, and it's up to AJ and his buddies to figure out why."
Timmy Failure: Mistakes Were Made
"“An endearingly pathetic antihero with delusions of greatness. … Seldom has failure been so likable—or so funny.”—The Wall Street Journal Take Timmy Failure—the clueless, comically self-confident CEO of the best detective agency in town, perhaps even the nation. Add his impressively lazy business partner, a very large polar bear named Total, and what you have is Total Failure, Inc. From the offbeat creator of Pearls Before Swine comes an endearingly bumbling hero in a hilarious caper accompanied by a whodunit twist. With perfectly paced visual humor, Stephan Pastis gets readers snorting with laughter, then slyly carries the joke a beat further—or sweetens it with an unexpected poignant moment—making this a comics-inspired story that truly stands apart from the pack."
Audiobook · 2 hrs 45 mins
"A.J. and his friends are afraid that Ms. Todd, their substitute teacher, has killed their regular teacher and is trying to take over her job."
Mr. Docker is off His Rocker!
"Mr. Docker, a new science teacher, is a crazy inventor who blows things up, uses potatoes for power, and has A.J. and his friends wondering whether science is for nerds or is the coolest subject ever"
Miss Lazar Is Bizarre!
"Dan Gutman's My Weird School series tickles young listeners' funny bones with clever wordplay and zany characters. Series star A.J. is in the second grade and he hates school - but that doesn't stop him from getting into hilarious adventures. This time around, he meets a genuine superhero, school custodian Miss Lazar. Always ready to save the day, she also likes to dance around with a mop and clean up messes - she fits right in at Ella Mentry Elementary School."
Ms. LaGrange is Strange!
"Author Dan Gutman has garnered widespread accolades for his books, including the BooklistEditor's Choice and ALA Popular Paperbacks for Young People. In this episode of the popular My Weird School series, Ella Mentry gets a new- and very unusual- lunch lady. Ms. LaGrange talks funny. And she does odd things- like writing secret messages in the mashed potatoes and acting like the vomitorium is a fancy restaurant. A.J. has no idea why Ms. LaGrange is behaving so strangely- but lunchtime is sure a whole lot more interesting!"
Mrs. Cooney is Loony!
"Dan Gutman's critically acclaimed children's books have won numerous accolades, including the Booklist Editor's Choice and ALA Popular Paperbacks for Young People. In this seventh hilarious book in Gutman's My Weird School series, A.J. still hates school, but he's developed a giant crush on the school nurse, Mrs. Cooney. Unfortunately, a couple of A.J.'s classmates also like Mrs. Cooney-plus, she's married. And then things get even more confusing when A.J. begins to think his crush might be an international spy."
Miss Small is Off the Wall!
"Fan-favorite author Dan Gutman has won numerous awards for his children's books, and his work has been listed among the ALA Popular Paperbacks for Young People. In Miss Small Is Off the Wall, A.J.'s gym teacher is acting really weird, teaching the class to do the Chicken Dance instead of a normal activity like dodgeball. And the other grown-ups at A.J.'s school seem to have something wrong with them, too. Somehow, A.J. and his classmates have got to convince Miss Small to act her age before the end of the year!"
Mr. Hynde is out of His Mind!
"Award-winning author Dan Gutman offers up this sixth hilarious tale from his fan-favorite My Weird School series. Bored out of his mind at school, A.J. hates going to class-especially when it's time for music. But all that changes when the new music teacher, Mr. Hynde, starts doing weird stuff like rapping, dancing around, and playing bongo on the principal's bald head. Music class just got a lot more interesting! But when Mr. Hynde tries to make A.J. kiss a girl in a school play, A.J. wonders how he'll survive."
Ms. Hannah is Bananas!
"Award-winning author Dan Gutman delivers the fourth amusing tale from his popular My Weird School series. Even for an art teacher, Ms. Hannah is pretty strange. She wears dresses made out of potholders and collects garbage instead of throwing it out-so her students can use it in their artwork. And now, she's making A.J. be partners with smelly Andrea. This is going to be the worst art class ever!"
Mrs. Roopy Is Loopy!
"The winner of numerous awards for children's fiction, Dan Gutman presents the third tale from his delightfully silly My Weird School series. Second-grader A.J. thinks Mrs. Roopy, the librarian, might be the strangest teacher at his school. The students believe she keeps appearing fully dressed as characters from books, like Johnny Appleseed and Little Miss Muffet. But every time a new character surfaces, Mrs. Roopy insists she was home sick that day! '. sure to captivate school children .'-Children's Literature"
"Popular author Dan Gutman has won countless fans with a trademark brand of humor that young readers find irresistible. In this second entry from the My Weird School series, second-grader A.J. gets sent to the office for not doing his homework. But things take an unexpected turn when Mr. Klutz, the skateboarding principal, gives A.J. a candy bar for encouragement. '. will satisfy newly confident as well as reluctant readers who ask for funny books.'-School Library Journal"
Miss Daisy is Crazy!
"Prolific and popular author Dan Gutman launches a fun new series with this tale about second-grader A.J. and the unusual school he attends. On the first day of class, A.J. tells Miss Daisy he loves football and video games but hates school. Then Miss Daisy tells him she hates school, too, and the students think their teacher just might be an impostor. 'Reluctant students will have no trouble relating to A.J., and breezy Miss Daisy illustrates how respecting kids and balancing learning with fun can produce positive resultsBooklist"
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