Work, deadlines, bills, homework, chores... and the list goes on. The demands of daily life pull us in all different directions, requiring time and energy that we don’t always have. At some point, just maintaining a to-do list becomes a to-do of its own. When these demands grow out of hand, they may lead to the all-too-familiar feeling of stress.
Stress is insidious. When stress goes unchecked, its symptoms linger and chip away at both physical and mental health. Many grow used to the constant feeling of stress pressing down on them, while others wear their stress as a badge of honor.
That being said, it’s okay to have some stress. A healthy level of stress pushes people to take care of their responsibilities, without keeping them up at night or damaging their health. The goal isn’t to eliminate all stress—it’s to keep stress at levels that are helpful, rather than harmful.
In this guide, we provide an overview of stress, its symptoms, and how it presents in daily life. Then, we will introduce 5 strategies for managing stress in a healthy way.
Stress is a feeling of being tense, overwhelmed, worn out, or exhausted. A small amount of stress can be motivating, but too much stress makes even small tasks seem daunting. Symptoms can range from mild (e.g., headaches and stomachaches) to severe (e.g., anxiety and depression).
Acute stress is brief but intense. Short-term stressors—such as giving a speech, getting into an argument, or studying for an exam—cause acute stress.
Chronic stress , on the other hand, is long-lasting. The symptoms may not be as intense in the moment, but the long-term effects are more severe. Long-term stressors—such as a difficult job, an unhealthy relationship with frequent arguing, or financial difficulties—cause chronic stress.
The symptoms of acute stress, such as sweating, irritability, and headaches, are disruptive in the moment. The symptoms of chronic stress might go unnoticed in the moment, but cause serious long-term health problems.
Stress causes physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms. Some people will have an easy time identifying their symptoms, and connecting them with stress. Others—especially those who have had chronic stress for years and years—will need more guidance before recognizing their symptoms as stress-related.
Resilience refers to the ability to handle stress when it arises, and to protect oneself against future stress. Research has shown that there are a number of qualities that contribute to resilience, including social support, optimism, sense of humor, spirituality, self-esteem, and adaptability ( 7, 10 ). Many of these qualities can be fostered in therapy.
Here are a few ways to build resilience:
Using social support can help reduce stress. Social support may come from friends, family, or community organizations. Identify current and potential sources of social support. For help doing so, try the social support worksheet:
Positive journaling can foster optimism, which contributes to stress resilience. Positive journaling involves writing about daily positive experiences. It tends to be easy to remember negative experiences, but it takes more work to recall and appreciate positive experiences. Positive journaling is a great way to appreciate these experiences. For a journal template, try the positive journal packet:
Showing gratitude can increase self-esteem, which contributes to resilience. There are a number of ways to show gratitude, including gratitude journaling, telling someone “thank you”, and visiting someone you appreciate. Check out the following gratitude resources:
Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation, are a fundamental part of stress management ( 5, 14 ). These techniques trigger the relaxation response, which counters the body’s stress response.
This section focuses on how relaxation skills fit into stress management treatment. For information, instructions, and resources about specific techniques, see our guide on the subject:
Relaxation techniques not only provide immediate stress relief, but the effects also generalize. This means the benefits of relaxation continue to be felt long after the exercise is complete. These techniques work best when done regularly and during times of calm, rather than exclusively when stress is at its peak.
Begin by teaching and practicing relaxation skills in session, then developing a routine that includes daily relaxation. Practicing only in session is not enough—relaxation skills must be used outside of therapy to be effective in the long-term.
Too much to do, and too little time. Balancing responsibilities and fitting them into a busy schedule is a common stressor. Time management skills can reduce the mental burden of juggling tasks, and increase the likelihood that everything gets done ( 4 ).
When stress is at its worst, hobbies, relationships, and free time are neglected. As a result, stress worsens. This creates a cycle where self-care is neglected, and stress grows.
“Self-care” refers to your favorite activities that help you relax, have fun, or feel energized. These could include talking with a friend, going for a walk, reading, listening to music, or whatever else you enjoy. The important part of self-care is not so much what you do—it’s just that you do it.
To start, the Self-Care Assessment can be used to explore current self-care habits while giving ideas of where self-care can be improved:
Not sure what to do? Use the Activity List worksheet to get some ideas.
Stress is caused by our thoughts about a situation, not by the situation itself. Two people in the exact same situation might have different levels of stress (or no stress at all), just because of how they think about it ( 2 ).
Oftentimes, the thoughts that cause stress are irrational or exaggerated, but we respond to them as if they are factual ( 2 ). Irrational thoughts that lead to stress may look like the following:
“I’ll never get through this.” “I have to be perfect all the time.” “If I don’t get an A on the test, I’m a total failure.”
The process of identifying and changing these irrational thoughts is called cognitive restructuring. See our guide and worksheets on cognitive restructuring to learn specific techniques: